As a love coach, I hear this from women all the time: 'Veronica, I just can't find a quality guy to date. All the men are...' (fill in your own blanks!)
Funny, that. Because I work with amazing, quality men every day. And you know what THEY say? 'I just can't find a quality woman...'
So something else must be going on here.
As with everything, there are 2 sides to this particular coin. I call them the inner, and the outer aspects. Let's look at the inner first.
Here's a challenging thought. Whatever you are experiencing 'out there' in the dating world, is a reflection of what is going on inside YOU. The world is simply a mirror to our own 'stuff'. I am certainly not the first to say this. Though I get to see it firsthand every day in the people, men and women, that I work with. Consider: if you are critical about others - where are you being critical to yourself? If they are not good enough, where are you treating yourself as not good enough? If everyone is shallow, where are you hiding your depth?
I hosted a singles function on the weekend. Halfway through, one of the ladies came to me and asked about one of the guys. 'Is his name xxx? I am sure I've been on a date with him before!' I happened to be travelling in the same car as this guy. On the way home, he remarked on this particular lady, how attractive and warm she was. The next day he texted me to say that she looked similar to a lady he'd been on one date before, around 3 years ago - but that the lady from the function was a lot younger and friendlier. He then texted to say that it WAS her, and how completely different she seemed. The time they first met, she treated the date like an interview and quizzed him the entire time. She was aggressive and cold. He couldn't believe it was actually the same woman, who somehow looked younger even though 3 years had passed! And of course he wanted her number to take her out again!
Now, I happen to have done some deep inner work with the lady, and watched her transform in the time we worked together. She was now confident, relaxed and able to be her most feminine self...whereas before, she was desperate and determined. So, what she was inside, was reflecting into the world - and giving her a completely different experience. Even her face looked different!
The people around us are a reflection of our inner space. As you change this, those people either change with you, or leave - and different people come into your life. It may sound hard to believe, but you already know this. Most of us have had the experience of outgrowing friends, or partners who stagnate while we are growing, and seen how the relationship just cannot last.
So if you want to meet quality people, focus on changing that within you that is causing the 'un-quality' to appear. They're only appearing to show you where you still need to do some inner work, and change what you're 'putting out there'. The universe can only give back to you what you already are. Like attracts like, on an 'energy vibration' level. If this sounds too far-out, this is actually measurable - it is the electromagnetic frequencies we emit from our hearts, that medical equipment up to 3 metres from our bodies. I call it your force field. The best way to get a quality partner is to get your force field resonating at such a level, they are attracted to you like bees to honey!
Let's look at the 'outer' aspect of this coin.
The 95% Rule: The first question to ponder is the definition of quality. And of course, that is going to be different for each person. Did you know that 95-98% of single, available people out there are not going to be suitable for you? You have your particular features, body, hair and height. Your specific lifestyle, spiritual outlook, hobbies, quirks and goals. It is going to take a very particular person to be able to mesh into that, with THEIR particular wants and needs. This means you need to generate a 'funnel' of quality people to date. There are many reasons for dating more than one person at a time (I go more into this on my programs). For now, we are focusing on the '95% Rule' as I call it. Just like in sales, where you don't close every lead, you need to work the numbers and keep filling your funnel!
There are a number of ways of filling your dating funnel. I'll briefly touch on 2.
The easiest one is to work with a matchmaker. The advantage of this is that they screen the members they take on. And because people are paying, it weeds out the scamsters and those just looking for sex. People who join, are generally more solvent too.
Of course you need to work your social circle, and remind your partnered-up friends to keep a lookout for you. Things change all the time - people split up, get divorced and then become available.
Your social circle also includes the 'second layer' - that is, the people you meet on a daily basis. This could be in the gym, at work, in the queue at the grocery store. Most people are too busy in their own heads to notice what is going on around them! Practice catching people's eyes, smiling, chatting to strangers in queues. If this becomes normal to you, when you do meet someone interesting, it makes it so much easier to engage with them.
Inner and outer, 2 sides of the coin. If you want to be successful at finding a quality partner, you have to work them both! But trust me, quality single men and women, are certainly out there :-) - if we're dating by design and not by default!